Synopsis

When we hear that someone close to us has cancer, we want nothing more than to help. But sometimes we don't know what to say or do, and don't feel comfortable asking. With sensitive insights, thoughtful anecdotes, and sometimes, gentle humor, Help Me Live provides a personal yet thoroughly researched account of words and actions that comfort and heal. Based on the author's own experiences with cancer, and interviews and surveys with scores of other survivors and health care professionals, each chapter tells intimate stories about one of the 20 most important messages people with cancer want to convey, such as "I need to forget - and laugh"; "Asking my permission can spare me pain"; "I want you to understand if I don't call you back"; and "I want comfort, not advice." You'll learn that communicating effectively doesn't necessarily mean there's a "right thing" to say or do, but that you can achieve the desired result: to make those who are ill feel better. In candid and beautifully detailed prose, Help Me Live will help you find the words or gestures to show how much you care.

* An intimate guide for families, partners, and friends of individuals diagnosed with cancer, detailing 20 messages to help loved ones communicate effectively.
* Appendices include specific advice geared toward special circumstances like workplace issues and rare cancers; 22 things most people with cancer like to hear; 26 common words, phrases, and questions that can sting; 15 fabulous things people did and said; and more.
* Hope does not prescribe behavior; rather it is designed as food for thought: Stories unfold, illustrating what helps, hurts, and heals.
* Although everyone experiences cancer differently, most want the same thing: to be cared for and to feel understood and respected.

To purchase Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know, call or visit your local bookstore or see http://www.booksense.com. The book is also available at amazon.com. If you purchase the book through East Bay Agency for Children, part of the proceeds will go towards supporting the nonprofit, which helps ill and grieving children.